Funny Freak - Funny Stuff

Tommy Nowak: I have strong feelings about gun control. If there’s a gun around, I want to be controlling it.

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero.” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week.” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want.” Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”

The man said, “Look, I’m a computer programmer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool.”

Mickey Rooney:
Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.

Videos
Robot Chicken - Grand Theft Mario (Video of the Week)
Fat Kid on Roller Coaster
Lazy Town Feat. Lil Jon
The Zombie Threat
Front Fell Off
Poop Freeze

Pictures
Seduction (Picture of the Week)
One Button Down
The New iPhone
Santa Bears All
Santa Stylin’
Painting Illusion

Jokes
What is God? (Joke of the Week)
Parking Tickets
Perfect Eyesight
The Usual
Weight Loss Plan
Ghost Loving

Quotes
Diana Jordan - Men are Simple (Quote of the Week)
Henry Youngman - Secret to Marriage
Jackie Mason - Cheating Men
Jack Benny - Case of Mind Over Matter
Carrie Fisher - Slim Pickings
Issac Asimov - Computer Errors

One day Little Johnny walks up to his Mom and says, “Mommy, is God Black or White?”

She replies, “Well, Honey, God is both Black and White.”

Then he says, “Mommy, is God a boy or a girl?”

“God is both a boy and a girl, Honey,” she replies.

“Mommy, is God gay or straight?” he inquires again.

Getting a little irritated, the mother replies, “Well, Honey, God is both gay and straight.”

After thinking for a moment, Johnny looks up and asks, “Mommy, is God Michael Jackson?”

Diana Jordan:
Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.